Mary-Janes

If ever there was a good reason for using “OMG” here, mary-janes are it.

My MJ love goes way, way back to when I was just starting school, and I had The Best red patent mary-jane flats in the history of red patent mary-janes. I wore them everywhere I could. I wore them until they had holes in the soles. And then I kept wearing them. I literally loved those shoes to death.

I still have a couple of mary-janes, which I am also going to love to death, and my favourite are black Campers. Poor things. They don’t know what’s in store for them.

Nina points to Manolo Blahnik’s Campari mary-janes as The M-Js, the famous “urban shoe myth”, and that they are best in patent, and that the strap must be thin.

I don’t necessarily agree with all that (not that I’d knock back a pair of Camparis), because for me it’s all about proportion. My Camper MJs have a thick heel and a round toe, and therefore a thick strap looks best – a thin strap would look out of place.

However, I would also add that like Manolo’s, the strap should be mid-to-low so that it doesn’t cut your foot up too much. Ankle-straps do not mary-janes make, so don’t get conned by poor labelling. The number of shoes I see online marked as mary-janes that are not, out-number the shoes which actually are the real deal. Accept no substitute!

I wore a pair of pointy-toed, kitten-heeled, thin-strapped black patent MJs out to dinner a few years back. A friend expressed admiration, but said they were a bit fierce. I said, “Fierce? These are mary-janes!” She responded, “Yes, but they’re bitches’ mary-janes.”

Yeah. Yeah, they were. And they were excellent.