Monogrammed Stationery

Meh.

I think if you move in wide, changing social circles, and these circles are a part of your profession, monogrammed stationery might be a must-have. However, in my profession, such things are not necessary. Nice, but not necessary. Nice, but amusingly retro. Not the impression one needs to make in IT. And when the motherly amongst in your circles are into scrapbooking, Facebooking and brunch bookings, bemusing evidence of too much spare cash.  The fatherly in your circles will wonder if you are going to make them start wearing cravats. And the more diseased in your circle are going to rub their thumbs over your linen personal card and wonder if it would make a good filter. 

Monogrammed stationery doesn’t make my one hundred. I don’t know that anything really takes its place. Maybe a monogrammed phone casing?

MLBB Lipstick

This one isn’t in Nina’s One Hundred, but it is essential and it can be very hard to find.

The perfect My-Lips-But-Better lipstick doesn’t make your lips look paler or more dramatic or darker or anything else, but just that much better and maybe a bit brighter and healthier.

A MLBB lipstick is not necessarily a “nude”. I have yet to find a good “nude” lipstick, primarily because all of them have so far looked chalky on me. Nars’ Napoli, for instance, is too light on me; it promises lightness and brightness in the tube, but transforms into an apricoty shade of blah once it reaches my face. MLBW, much worse.

Nars’ Dolce Vita (described as “sheer dusty rose”), Becca’s Vendela (“rosy nude”) and Revlon’s “Rosy Nude” lipstick (yes, I see a pattern forming, too) are my current favourite MLBB lip colours. I am going to buy many, many tubes of these. Due to their perfection, they are bound to be Discontinued (at least, that’s my theory).

Missoni Knit

Nina extols the many virtues of Missoni knits, primarily their beauty and timeless art. I like their glowing colours, comfort and drape, but I wince at their frequent 70s echo. I have seen a simple pale Missoni knit on Net-A-Porter which I think is the ideal summer holiday item, but I’ve not yet had a burning need for something like that.

I have to admit, I’d be terrified of getting the knit caught on something. And summer holidays can involve travel, and travel can be rough on body and wardrobe. Yes, once again, when faced with the glory of knit and fashion perfection, all this hairshirt can think of is, “Will I wreck it travelling on the train?” Sorry. I can’t help myself. I’ve ruined so many items of clothing one way or the other that the thought of risking damage to such a beautiful thing makes me cower inwardly.

Minnetonka Moccasin

Now, the moccasin may be “sneakily stylish” if you’re Nina or a western Sydney bogan. This season sees wedge-heeled and crepe-soled moccasins in our stores, hybridised with brogues and pumps. It’s making for some interesting outcomes. Some of these shoes look comfortable, but are not. Others look ugly as sin, but seem to wear quite well. Some don’t know quite know what they want to be, and end up being not much at all.

While Nina believes that moccasins are “worn by laid-back girls who want to flaunt that I’m-not-trying-too-hard-look”, I believe a sloppy moccasin says more “I’m-not-trying-at-all”.

If ballet flats aren’t enough for you, maybe try a sleek brogue. Even when well-worn and scuffed, a brogue manages to look great as a flat shoe. A moccasin is just one step sideways from that pair of Grosby slippers your grandfather wore, and are definitely nowhere near my One Hundred.

Mary-Janes

If ever there was a good reason for using “OMG” here, mary-janes are it.

My MJ love goes way, way back to when I was just starting school, and I had The Best red patent mary-jane flats in the history of red patent mary-janes. I wore them everywhere I could. I wore them until they had holes in the soles. And then I kept wearing them. I literally loved those shoes to death.

I still have a couple of mary-janes, which I am also going to love to death, and my favourite are black Campers. Poor things. They don’t know what’s in store for them.

Nina points to Manolo Blahnik’s Campari mary-janes as The M-Js, the famous “urban shoe myth”, and that they are best in patent, and that the strap must be thin.

I don’t necessarily agree with all that (not that I’d knock back a pair of Camparis), because for me it’s all about proportion. My Camper MJs have a thick heel and a round toe, and therefore a thick strap looks best – a thin strap would look out of place.

However, I would also add that like Manolo’s, the strap should be mid-to-low so that it doesn’t cut your foot up too much. Ankle-straps do not mary-janes make, so don’t get conned by poor labelling. The number of shoes I see online marked as mary-janes that are not, out-number the shoes which actually are the real deal. Accept no substitute!

I wore a pair of pointy-toed, kitten-heeled, thin-strapped black patent MJs out to dinner a few years back. A friend expressed admiration, but said they were a bit fierce. I said, “Fierce? These are mary-janes!” She responded, “Yes, but they’re bitches’ mary-janes.”

Yeah. Yeah, they were. And they were excellent.

Kaftan

Hey! I missed “Kaftan”!

Nina puts a kaftan in her One Hundred, and I’m inclined to agree, although a kaftan could be any pool- side dress or throw-on beachwear dress, with a bit of shoulder coverage, which doesn’t mind a bit of salt or sunscreen, which doesn’t look out of place in a hotel lobby.

And I do mean dress. Not a long top, tunic or otherwise. Something that goes a little more than a centimetre past your arse, please, people. (Have to say, tops as dresses seems fast becoming de rigeur amongst the skankniscenti around these parts. It’s all I can do to stop myself from calling out, “Hey! You forgot your pants!” And remember, folks – you may be sharing a seat on the train with these misguided fools).

The kaftan should be cool, loose, colourful and comfortable, and should still look ok after being stuffed in your beach bag. Like many of the items in the One Hundred, it should be something you don’t have to think about – you just grab it and throw it on. You’re on holiday, after all.