Man's White Shirt

Wearing a man's white shirt is meant to look casual, classic and collected, effortlessly chic and carelessly elegant.

On me, a man's white shirt looks like it was dark when I dressed and I reached for the wrong rack in the wardrobe, and I was probably hung over as well. It doesn't fit. It's crumpled. It's baggy. The collar is too stiff and too high and I'm just swamped. I look like an overweight child. An unstylish overweight child. I'm not a man, and I'm not shaped like a man, and a man's shirt is not going to work for me.

I will stick with a woman’s white shirt. Sure, it may have features usually found on men’s shirts, like a structured collar and French cuffs, but they will be in proportion to the rest of the shirt, and in proportion to me!

It’s a big NO from me to a man’s white shirt.

Mad Money

I found this idea of Nina's fascinating!

You put a 20 or 50 dollar note in your wallet or purse. You tuck it into a spot you don't use, like behind your driver's licence. You leave it there. You kind of even forget about it.

Then, just when you're not looking for it, there it is. The Perfect Thing. That perfectly-distressed classic pair of jeans on the sales rack. That perfect little beaded purse in the vintage store. The perfect Little Black Dress (I can dream!!!). And, of course, this will occur only when you're a bit skint. Mad Money to the rescue! You tweeze that bad boy out of the depths of your purse and the Perfect Thing is yours!

That's the idea, anyway.

So, I keep my Mad Money out of sight and out of mind. I haven't had a chance to use it, yet, but one day...

Luggage

It would seem obvious that if you travel you need luggage.

However, I've tried travelling without luggage. My first adult trip on a big silver bird was made tricky due to having stuff to take, but no luggage to put it in. I recall there was at least one taped-up plastic bag that the check-in staff frowned at. Thankfully I was too excited to really take too much notice of their disapproval. By the end of my trip, I had rationalised and packed more properly, but not before creating a little chaos at the terminals and at our final accommodation and everywhere in between.

In one of those Ironic Twists, now that I have luggage, I can also pack mean. A week of business in an Australian city only requires a carry-on bag, and not stuffed to the brim, either. There's always about 20% free space in my bags. However, I still need a bit of luggage when I travel.

Again, it would seem obvious. However, there is a radical solution to this whole luggage thing, this whole insurance-nightmare, check-in, weight-limited, hazardous material, lug-it-around luggage situation: don't take any.

Travel naked?I can hear little brain cells popping from here. Travel without luggage? Think about it! Unless you need specific items or are going to places which are either very expensive or very underdeveloped, it is certainly an option.

A friend of mine tends to go on holiday with no luggage when travelling to places where shopping is plentiful and goods are cheap. He gets on the plane to Thailand with nothing but a small carry-on bag with his wallet, documents, his phone, a change of undies and a toothbrush. Everything else that he finds he needs, he buys at his destination, and that shopping is part of his holiday experience. When it is time to return home, he gives most of it away, only keeping any small thing he wants to take back. It inspires awe and consternation in equal measure.

I think it is excellent. And, no, I don't think I could travel like that.

Lookbook

Here is something which isn't in Nina's One Hundred, but which I've found to be incredibly useful: a Lookbook!

A lookbook is basically a collection of images for use as inspiration. It can be a thick book bursting at the seams, or a single page, or a spot on the wall you stick pictures on and which constantly changes. It can be as fantastic or as prosaic as you want. It can have pictures of items or outfits you like, or pictures of absolutely anything animal, vegetable or mineral which inspire you. It can be comprised of photos, swatches, and clippings from magazines or gardens. It doesn't matter. I've seen lookbooks with bits of wool, flowers, sticks, stickers, perfume tester cards, all sorts of flotsam and jetsam which pointed the owner in some way to where they wanted to go.

I use a scrapbook for my lookbook, gathering stuff up as it comes along and tearing it out when it loses favour. It's a fairly prosaic sort, comprised of items or outfits which I like the idea or look of, with the occasional comment or note. It's rarely taken literally – what a stylist does for magazine pages is not what is going to work for me on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, it's just the idea of it, the direction of it, the mood of it, that's important.

If you like to follow trends, it's a great way of filtering and cherry-picking all the information coming at you from magazines, hardcopy and online. You only have in front of you the bits which you really like, and the rest you can ignore.

I've found lookbooks to be so useful, I have a mini “lookbook” I sometimes take to my hairdresser, with a YES page and a NO page. The NO page is primarily full of pictures of round, boofy bobs which hairdressers love to give me, but which I hate (my face is already round and boofy enough). The YES page is primarily full of cuts which I like but which, of course, are impossible for my hair (yes, my hairdresser despairs). But it's the idea, the general intent, which is the important thing. Having both YES and NO pages has been successful so far in avoiding the dreaded pumpkin head result. Worth it.

L. L. Bean Tote

I think what this translates into for an international audience is “large, basic, structured tote”. The kind you put your groceries in. The type some people use as nappy bags. I got a freebie one with a Harpers' Bazaar mag, once, and it gets used every so often, any time I need to carry something of a certain size.

However, I don't think of it specifically as a fashion must-have, although it beats the hell out of those ubiquitous nasty green boxy supermarket bags. Some sort of handy shopping bag is needed, certainly.

The utility bag I'm currently finding indispensable is the Envirosax (http://www.envirosax.com.au/ or http://www.envirosax.com ).

I keep one rolled up in my handbag organiser so I always have a tote with me for unexpected loads or purchases. They weigh nothing, are very compact, look great (I'm particularly liking the Japanese-inspired prints, but how many of these bags do I really need?), are washable, are strong, and large enough to go over my shoulder. And they're pretty :-)

Little White Dress

I’m not too sure about this one. White can be a bit stark, and quite blinding in bright sunlight. And it shows every little mark and crease. Some sort of summery dress is essential, something light and cottony that you can throw on at a moment’s notice for the beach or midday barbecue.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a LWD that could be a summery equivalent of a LBD. I'll let you know if I ever find such a thing. Maybe it's only for people with long, tanned legs?

And if you're going to buy a LWD, you need to make sure that you don't end up looking too bridal, too baptismal, too clinical, too something. With no colour, the cut and the fabric are everything. There might be a few broderie anglaise or otherwise embroidered LWDs out there which might be OK. Tricky.

Little Black Dress

Amanda[…] Why are you dressed like somebody died?
Wednesday: Wait.

--- Addams Family Values

The LBD! Of course! THE wardrobe essential ever since we ditched corsets (what a great day that must been, all those sudden deep breaths and pin-ups asking for their ribs to be re-inserted). Everyone should have at least one LBD in their wardrobe!

Anyway, this is going to be a pretty short blog entry. So much has been said (and is still being said) about the LBD, that I don’t think we need even more information about it. It is THE essential, and I'm wearing one right now while typing this just to make a point (a little Country Road loose wool jersey thing, with long sleeves and a tie at the neck). The key trick is finding the Perfect LBD, if such a beastie even exists. I think it must involve an improbable convergence of timing, sizing, pricing and planetary alignment.

If you don’t have a LBD, hopefully you have something which functions for it – a little brown dress, or a little navy dress or a … well, I just can’t think of what on earth else you’d use, really.

It will take a fashion revolution of a scale not seen since the 1920s to topple the LBD from its throne. Any usurpers out there?

Lingerie

My first reaction was: right, as if I’d go commando.

As I read through Nina’s chapter, however, I discovered that she was talking about frilly frippery. The sort you can’t wear under anything without it showing. The sort that is uncomfortable and scratchy and must match at all times. The sort which is expensive and which sits at the back of the undies drawer while the rest of the less exotic gear gets on with day-to-day life.

Camisole? Yes, but please not under blazers and jackets as suggested by Nina. Undies as outies is so 80s, and frankly a bit trashy for the office.

Silk slip? Yes, OK. Silk-y, maybe. No reason it has to be silk.

Negligee? Nah. A slinky nightie from Peter Alexander will do just as well without the somewhat laughable earnestness which can accompany such frivolous items.

Silk stockings because they drive men wild? Don’t know about men, but they’d certainly do my head in.

There are very stylish women out there who wear proper, trussed-up frilly lingerie every day as a matter of course and love it dearly. I am not one of them. Give me Bonds, Jockey and Ambré. Give me t-shirt bras and biniki briefs in lycra and cotton, give me invisibility and comfort. This doesn’t mean it has to be frumpy granny knickers and wide straps with iron clasps suitable for comrades toiling for the glory of the Motherland, either. Fine Lines, for instance, make glamourous and luxurious basics which are functional and beautiful AND comfortable. Some people find basics boring, but I never find sleek comfort dull.

I really don’t need frills and spills to feel sexy or glamourous. A good pair of heels is enough for that, and a great lumpy VPL won’t do at all. Bridget Jones understood that wearing big granny knickers was a sure way to use Murphy’s Law to her own advantage. I’ll bet she wasn’t wrenching them out of her arse all evening, either.

Frilly lingerie doesn’t even make it into my Two Hundred, let alone One Hundred.

Leather Pants

Yes, you read right: Leather pants.

Now, if everyone wore them, leather pants could single-handedly keep the talcum industry afloat for years. I’m pretty sure there’d be more demand for Lamasil, too.

Jim Morrison, Susie Quattro, Michael Hutchence, Keith Richards. These people can (could) wear leather pants. These people are rock stars.

If you are not a rock star or real fashionista, don’t. Just don’t. Please. If you want the shiny without the squeaky and sweaty, go for something like Sass and Bide Rats, which are fabulous even though I would look awful in them (hell, I can’t even wear skinny jeans).

No. Just, no.

Knee Boots

Nina and I are back to being in complete agreement! Knee-high boots are as essential as white t-shirts and jeans. They go under skirts of all lengths, under trousers, under or over jeans and under capris. They show a bit of knee, but not the whole leg. They keep your legs dry and warm. They’re dressy and casual all at once. They instantly add style. I have a few pairs of flat and heeled knee-high boots, and they all get decent use in the winter months. I would be lost without them.

Again, fit is everything. Aside from the length, width and arch fitting, if the boot bags excessively around the ankle and isn’t a slouchy boot, then it’s no good. If it’s too tight or too floppy around the calf, it’s no good (shoe makers like Benelli and Duo Boots will make boots for different calf widths).

Love, love, love knee-high boots.

Khakis

By “khakis”, Nina means tan casual pants. Again with the preppy. Again, totally not me. However, some kind of trousery thing that’s somewhere between suit trousers and jeans is definitely required.

In the place of khakis, I would put capri pants. I wear these every other day in summer, and even have a tailored pair which can go to the office. My capris aren’t the polyester, elastic waisted, permanent press type of things you sometimes see which are basically elongated shorts. I have them in black tailored and cuffed, black wide with wrap waist, denim wide with wrap waist, denim straight, dark khaki cargo-like (think Sass & Bide Crackerjacs), and light blue straight fine twill. All of these get decent wear over summer, and sometimes into winter with boots.

Crackerjacs are the cargos

of the capri world

(or the capris of the cargo world?)

By the way, don’t let anyone tell you that short legs mean no capris. It’s nonsense, because it’s all about proportion, cut and styling. I have really short legs, and I can wear slim tailored capris easily, and can wear them with heels or heeled knee-high boots or ballet flats and cropped jackets and still look in proportion and fine. They don’t “cut my legs off”. When you have people asking where you got that item of clothing (and they’re not screwing their face up!), you know that for sure you’re doing something right.

Jewellery Pouches

I mustn’t have much jewellery, because I’ve never had an issue with having or not having jewellery pouches. I have a few pouches in satin and felt, but I’ve never encountered any problems for the lack of one, even when travelling. I mean, really, an old sock can keep your necklace from tangling or getting chipped. It will look horrible on the dresser, but it will do.

Jeans

What did we wear before there were jeans?

If there’s one single item of clothing to thank the USA for, jeans are it. So, is there a perfect jean? For everyone? No. For you? Yes. And Nina hits the nail right on the head:

“Fit is everything”

Pay no attention to the brand, pay next to no attention to the marked size, don’t worry about the style. Don’t use the price as an indicator of anything important. If the the blogs or fashion mags tell you that Nobody jeans are the Best Ever Jeans or that J Brand are the only jeans to wear right now, ignore them. Fit is everything.

Nina shows remarkable resilience, stating that you might try on twenty or thirty jeans before finding your “perfect” jean (which she still expects will need some tailoring… and yes, nearly all my jeans are shortened). Thirty! I think after about 10 unsuccessful tries I would be a blubbering mess burried under a mountain of ill-fitting denim, wondering if I was somehow grossly deformed and pining for a strong drink.

Finding jeans to fit can be a ghastly struggle. You’ll exercise the strength of a weight-lifter, the suppleness of a gymnast, the endurance of a distance runner, the calm focus of a shooter. Gird your loins before you start out. I recommend wearing comfortable shoes and downing an espresso or two.

I’m a wide-leg jeans wearer. Skinny jeans do me no favours whatsoever, but they look fantastic on the right figure. Straight or slim leg jeans work for me, too, but I prefer they have a little stretch for comfort. I’m very happy with the range of jeans on offer right now. At one point, it was all straight-leg, then the skinny rage started and every jean was skinny (I bought no jeans for ages). Right now, just about everything is out there – skinny, slim, straight, boot cut, wide, slouch, trouser, boyfriend, cuffed, flare, high waist, mid-rise, low rise, dark, white, black, grey, distressed, you name it. If you find a good pair, buy a few if you can (see Discontinued). You won’t regret it.

It would be a very unique One Hundred which didn’t included jeans.

Footnote

Every fashion cycle has its ugly bit. These ugly bits attract avid fans and rabid detractors alike. Balloon skirts, white lipstick, oversized shoulder pads, wide lapels, hypercolour t-shirts … they might all have seemed good ideas at the time, but they weren’t. Fun, sure! Good, no.

Today’s ugly bit is “jeggings”, denim leggings styled as jeans. Denim leggings are not jeans and look bloody awful on anyone over 14 years old or 45 kilos. Yes, they do. Really. Leggings are not pants, and no amount of styling will make them so. If you like them, you’re probably thinking “ZOMG!!1! I heart jeggings!!!" You need to take a good picture of yourself in them and then keep that picture. In less than ten years’ time you will look at that picture and feel deeply mortified at the extent of your folly, and the realisation that this is what everyone else saw except you. Sorry.)

iPod

The last time I checked, “iPod” was Apple Corporation’s name for their MP3/media player. I do have an iPod, but I find that my MP3 player-come-flashdrive is more useful. It charges off a USB, loads up with very straight-forward software, only plays music, and is very, very small. My iPod is quite heavy, really needs to be plugged in to charge up properly, plays music and video, and loads up using a thinly-disguised storefront called “iTunes”, which has to be one of crappiest pieces of software I have ever used (google “iTunes sucks” and read the many, many reasons why it’s rubbish).

The iPod goes with me on long trips simply so I can watch video, but the MP3 flashdrive is my commute companion.

Regardless, an MP3 player does not make my One Hundred. My mobile phone plays music and has a radio, so it covers all those bases in any case.

I have a hard time considering an MP3 player as a fashion item. That’s just a bit, well, sad, really.

Investment Bag

Hmmm… Nina infers that the following bags will only cost “a few weeks’ salary”:

1. The Chanel 2.55
2. Louis Vuitton Speedy
3. Gucci Jackie O
4. Hermés Birkin

If only!

Now, I like all these bags, and would have all these if I could. BUT. Is any one of these a must-have? Is my wardrobe painfully incomplete without one of these?

It’s hard to say.

I’ve never had one, and then had to do without it, so it’s likely I don’t know what I’m missing. Aside from maybe the Birkin, I really can’t imagine using any one of those bags an awful lot.

The Hermès Birkin. Holy grail or wholly unattainable?

Probably both!

There are so many choices out there these days, that it’s easy to get swept up in the moment, and make mistakes. This isn’t necessarily a completely bad thing, as mistakes are learning opportunities.

In a wardrobe, one of the key indicators of a mistake is lack of use. A bag, for instance, not only needs to look great, it needs to be functional and it needs to work very hard by going with just about everything and going just about anywhere. If it’s not being used, it’s not what you needed.

I wish I could get away with just one satchel I could use summer and winter and wherever I went, but my life and my moods are not really suited to that, and I’m certainly no longer a student. So, I’ll lay it all out here. I have about 5 handbags I use heavily:

1. a midnight blue Elk bowler which I think is practically perfect
2. a black Sportscraft “Evie” hobo (‘nuff said)
3. a black Mulberry Bayswater which is an ideal bag for work
4. a grey Chloe Paddington which is an ideal weekend bag, casual but beautiful
5. a black Country Road messenger which is perfect for when I need to move about and keep my hands free, and which often goes travelling with me.

The Baysie gets a lot of use winter workdays, the hobo gets used most winter weekends, the Elk bowler gets used most summer workdays, the Paddy gets used most summer weekends.

I have about 5 other assorted bags which get picked at a whim and used heavily for a week or two before I go back to one of the first five. Any of the First Five are the ones I would miss the most, and not one is even close to the four Nina lists.

I’ll admit that the Bayswater and Paddington could be termed “investment” bags, (they were bought as “rewards” for insane workloads because holidays were out of the question. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it). They certainly work very hard, but not too much harder than the other non-“investment” bags which have, at one time or other, been used daily for months or years on end. I do expect them to last much longer than the other bags.

So, does an “Investment Bag” make my One Hundred? Nah, not really. It doesn’t matter if a bag has some sort of iconic style status and a huge price tag. It might help, but it’s not essential. What is essential is that it works in every way it needs to. And works and works and works.

For handbags, I need a hobo, a messenger and a tote. They’re my three essentials (don’t make me choose).

Hoop Earrings

If you’ve missed the news –hoop earrings are back! And if you’ve really been missing the news, yes, they were out for a while, apparently.

However, refinement is the key to wearing hoops successfully, and I agree with Nina’s statement that, to paraphrase, large+thin=funky, small+chunky=sophisticated, large+thick=NO.

Hoops look great with jeans or cocktail dresses, and come in all sizes. I have a short neck, so there’s a limit to how big my hoops can be, and I like them either plain silver or with a row of diamonds (or closest fascimile!). They make a dramatic addition to your dress without any frou-frou or fussiness. I like ‘em. I should definitely wear them more!

Hobo Bag

Nina describes the hobo bag as a “perfect everyday bag”, and it does have a lot going for it. A hobo has one handle or strap to be swung over a shoulder, plenty of room, and thousands of different stylish interpretations. From Gucci classic to sew-your-own fabric versions, there’s a hobo for just about any occasion.

In that montage in The Devil Wears Prada, when Miranda Priestly dumps a daily bag and coat combination on Andy’s desk, how many of those bags are hobos? (I don’t know this - it’s an actual question! I think many of them are, however).

Not as fiddly as a satchel, not as bulky as a tote, more flexible than a frame bag (it’s Super-bag!) a hobo is never “placed” it is flung. I only have one hobo, when it’s being used, it gets used a lot.

I don’t have a million dollars-worth of bags, but I have a few handbags “on rotation” – I’m not a one-bag-to-rule-them-alll type of person. There’s the big black work tote, the soft washed-grey weekend tote, the hands-free messenger for when I’m out and about and busy, but the hobo is one of the most handy.

If you don’t have a hobo bag, why not?

Havaianas

Now, I’m not sure about Nina’s version of historical events, but thongs (not g-strings, but footwear) have been around in Oz for a very long time. Half-joking referred to as “Australian safety boots”, they’ve been part of the national dress for as long as anyone can remember. The ubiquitous rubber versions have been able to be purchased from supermarkets, shoe shops and servos since the 1960s at least.

The first thongs-as-we-know-them are thought to have come from New Zealand in the 1950s (not Brazil in the 1970s) and they called them “jandals”.

And even then, I’m pretty sure the Japanese had zōri a fair few years before that.

That said, I loves me Havs. I practically live in them all summer. They are soft and pretty and no-fuss. Definite must-haves. Pun intended.

Gloves

I have a love-hate relationship with gloves. As you might have guessed, I like my clothing not just to fit, but be fit for purpose. Gloves are meant to protect your fingers and hands, but I get easily frustrated with them when they get in the way of finding my keys, swiping my bus pass, or applying my lip balm. I also can’t write or type very well with them on, and I certainly can’t operate my mobile phone while wearing them.

Fingerless gloves would seem to be the way to go then, but the tips of the fingers are the most vulnerable to cold, so to me it kind of defeats the purpose. The only fingerless gloves I’ve seen which look good are the sort which cover the entire forearm, sometimes extending past the elbows. They’re kind of funky, and definitely fun, stopping where they should continue and continuing where they should stop.

Fine leather gloves? Still not fine enough.

Polyproplylene gloves, like those which can line skiing gloves? Yes, these are OK, and even have a little grip, but they snag like crazy on just about everything, including nails. They’re definitely more inner wear than outer wear.

Knitted wool gloves are certainly too thick. Mittens are warm and easy to remove quickly, but score -10000 for manual dexterity.

I love gloves, but hate how clumsy they make me. They are why I like pockets in just about everything! Pockets can hold everything from lip balms to ticket stubs to hands.

Gloves – yes, OK. Pockets – essential.

Gentleman's Hat

Nina likes fedoras, trilbys, etc. She probably looks great in them!

I look OK in hats, but I usually look better in women’s hats. Maybe they’re not as “cool”, but they look better on me. I’m not sure what that says about my face, my hair or the shape of my head, but there it is.

Whatever shape of head, however, hats are not just optional accessories.

When you live in a country which is riddled with skin cancer, where sunscreen is worn every day and the mantra of “Slip, slop, slap” is drummed into children’s heads before they even start school, hats are not just fashion items, they’re survival items. We don’t have to be outdoors-types, either. In summer, just 10 minutes sun exposure can get you burning. In outdoors stores, hats and other clothing come with UPF ratings. I have a couple of hats with UPF 40, and they are essential for any outdoors activity between 10am and 5pm. I don’t know what the UPF rating is for the woven trilbys which have been all the rage this year, but I can’t imagine it would be much.

If you live in a cold country, then proper hats are just as important for keeping you warm and protecting your ears from biting cold. I’m not sure a trilby would do well in a Scandinavian winter.

So, while a gentleman’s hat does not get into my One Hundred, hats in general do. Hats, like scarves, can finish a casual outfit, hide a bad hair day and provide portable, personal shade. Hats are essential items for everyone!

Fur

Oh, dear me. I am not going to start the whole fur debate. Any rabid pro- or anti-fur responses will be deleted, OK? There is more than enough discussion on other sites such as PETA regarding animal cruelty, eco concerns, ethics, synthetic fibres vs natural, etc, etc, so I’ll leave it at that.

Anyway, I love faux fur, and the faux-er the better! As Nina points out, Prada’s 2007 “Fake Classic” faux furs were just perfect. Even Lagerfeld at Chanel has gone faux for Fall/Winter 2010/2011.

Prada Goes Wonderfully Faux

Unfortunately, I live in a warm climate, so the opportunities for such wonderful furriness are sadly limited. I still do have a screaming-faux coat that I am looking forward to wearing next winter, but that’s about it.

I also think that the traditional big, heavy fur coats overwhelm the wearer. You don’t think, “Wow, look at her,”, you think, “Wow, look at that.”

Who wants to be a “that”?

A Couple of Thats.

A little carefully-placed furriness in the form of a hat or collar or trim can go much further than a hulking great lump of it, and Nina’s “Closet Obsession” of fur stoles is testament to that. She answers the problem of stylish and warm outer-wear for evening with the luxurious flourish of a stole, and I think that is genius.

It’s genius slightly undone, however, by her inclusion of Gwyneth Paltrow in The Royal Tenenbaums as a “Great Moment in Fur”. She might as well have listed Natassja Kinsky in The Hotel New Hampshire.

Fishnets

I try to like fishnets, but somehow I’m not yet convinced. I love that they’re strong both physically and stylishly. But, maybe I’m not finding them warm enough and or not quite “neat” enough for me. Maybe my legs are too chunky? Maybe they just take some getting used to? Maybe I should try layering them? Am I worried they’re too slutty and random people will start trying to shove money down my front? Am I worried that my legs are too hairy and will look like weasels caught in nets? Am I convinced that no matter what I do, Tim Curry will always look better in them than I ever can? Am I concerned that they’ll get snagged on something and I’ll end up unravelling somehow and leave a taut, telltale thread behind me in the CBD?

Nina lists them as part of her One Hundred because a hint of fishnet danger is OK, but a full leg of it is “tawdry”. Google “fishnets” and you’ll get a mixed bag of angling and porn sites. Not very encouraging associations. I guess it’s a bit like Animal Print – there are ways to do it right. Nina suggests trying nude fishnet, and always going for fine meshes.

They’re not yet part of my One Hundred, but perhaps they could be! I guess I’ll know after next winter.

Exotic Skin Bag

I like different textures, but reptilian patterns or embossing have never been my faves. I prefer brocade or embroidery or other interesting finishes like velvets or pleated silks or heavy weaves. It’s not due to any reptile phobia – I’ve held snakes and patted baby crocs and touched turtle fins no worries (turtles are cute!) – but there’s something a little icky to me about obvious “skin” accessories. They’re bold and exotic-looking, certainly, and they can boldly proclaim, “Look! I killed this and then cut its skin off and made it into a purse! Yay!”

I came across some eel skin clutches in my recent clutch search, and there was something about them which made my own skin crawl just the tiniest bit. Even the faux stuff doesn’t appeal to me, and there’s faux-croc everywhere you turn at the moment. If you like it, now is the time to grab as much of it as you can.

What’s wierd, is that for some reason fake fur doesn’t give me the same reaction. I don’t know why. I’m contradictory, I know!

I’ll stick with “exotic texture”, I think.

Evening Gown

First, The Rant:

90% of “ball gowns” in shops in this town are absolute bloody rubbish.

Almost everything I see in stores here seems to be made for school balls or strippers. If I had a dollar for every shiny-shiny, polyester, halter-neck, plunging, sequinned, backless, bumless, see-through, WAG-inspired, excessively-ruched monstrosity in this town, I would have enough to ring Mr. Armani and ask for something one-off.

You all know the type of stuff I’m talking about. Yeeeerrrrrccchhhhh….

Apart from embarrassingly poor taste, one thing is that most of these overpriced synthetic skank-scraps have in common is the absence of any type of sleeve. If your arms aren’t your best feature, sleevelessness is not on. Piss-farting around with a wrap all evening is also not going to work, so don’t even think about it. And when a dress does happen to have sleeves, the sleeves seem to exert some sort of irresistable, magical force on the dressmaker, such that they cannot help but create some horror that screams “discount 80’s bridesmaid!”

An elegant, interesting, tasteful evening gown is obviously a very difficult thing to make, and obviously not very popular.

And I’m not talking about cocktail dresses. I don’t give a rat’s what some people think, “black tie” and “cocktail” are two different things, and Black Tie means an evening gown. Full length. The Real Deal. No pissing about.

Now, the Rationale:

I think the search for an evening gown is going to be never-ending for me :-( I might have to design something of my own. The closest thing I’ve seen which could have been OK was a silk Carla Zampatti number, but it was sold out in my size and is no longer available:

A lovely woman called Suzie Wilkes wears an equally lovely Carla Zampatti gown.

Yes, Nina. A real, proper evening gown is an absolute must-have. I just need to find one, maybe like the one above, or this Erdem one below?

Edited to add: Have recently seen some lovely gowns in Lisa Ho, but they're not quite what I'm looking for. Still bloody nice, though.

Espadrilles

OK, let me say straight up that while I am open to conversion, I am not a huuuuge fan of espadrilles. I know folks who barely take them off in the summer months and find them indispensible, but I’ve never been a fan of their clunkiness and floppiness and flat-soledness. I don’t like my footwear clunky and floppy and flat-soled. I seem to recall a lot of sprained ankles in the 70s.

Right now, I’m wearing a pair of very neat Teva Venturas. They are not High Fashion, but they are replacing my faithful Rockports, which finally died after 9 years excellent service. Like the Rockports, the Tevas fit me really well, and look good on my feet, funky not frumpy. They are comfortable and soft and light. They won’t take me from the beach to cocktails by the pool and they don’t look good in jeans, but they will take me all over the Cinque Terre, through Rome and Florence in summer, around Balinese marketplaces, through national parks, across town on a shopping spree, to barbecues and picnics, on and off boats, and down to and from the beach.

I’m happy for anyone to point me to where I might find some comfortable, stylish espadrilles which won’t cripple me, but in the meantime, walking sandals will go where espadrilles fear to tread. Bon voyage!

ETA: Bought espadrilles, red wedge heels. Have not worn once. They're gone.

Eighteen Month Rule

This is not one of Nina’s essentials, but this has been a wardrobe essential for me for quite a few years now. The rule is:

If I haven’t worn it even once in 18 months, it goes.

12 months is too short a time. 2 years is too long, and I probably wouldn’t remember, anyway. 18 months is kind of nice middle ground.

Recently, I’ve been browsing through the “Who What Wear” book by Katherine Power and Hillary Kerr (see WhoWhatWear.com). I was interested to see that they also advocate the 18 month rule!

This rule means that the items I have

• Fit
• Still suit me
• Are in good condition
• Keep up with any changes in style I’ve made

The only only only exceptions are collectables and special “occasion” pieces such as a silk sequinned Dinnigan cardigan, a tuxedo, that sort of thing. And sometimes even these are not immune.

I don’t have a stack of vintage Comme des Garçons or Valentino, or an inherited stash of Chanel, so this rule isn’t going to clear me out of coveted designer pieces.

What the 18 month rule provides a measuring stick against the relevance of the item you’re holding up in front of you, considering whether you’ll ever wear it again.

Again, a certain ruthlessness and clear-headedness is necessary. There’s not much room for sentimentality. I wouldn’t do it with a glass of champagne in my hand, nor would I let my friends get involved unless I thought I wasn’t up to it.

A good time to apply the rule is at the change of seasons, such as when you start packing away your heavier winter stuff and heavy knits and start bringing out the shorts and sandals. You’ll have a good idea if that start-of-season buy actually got used, and you’ll have had enough of a break from your stored clothes to be able to look at them a little more objectively.

If you have ample wardrobe space and don’t ever pack away seasonal clothes, you should seriously think about trying it. It clears everything up, protects clothes from pests when you’re not using them, and helps you get organised, making it much, much easier to find what you’re looking for. Go on, try it. You’ll thank me :-)

Driving Shoes

Recently, a woman tried to blame her speeding on her high heels.

Well, nice try, hon’, but perhaps you needed a pair of driving shoes. Nina’s driving shoe is basically a light loafer, and part of what she calls “WASP-chic.”

Meh. I’m not so into it. I’m neither a WASP nor a Schumacher. I’m sure that driving shoes are comfortable and colourful and all, but those moccasinny types of shoes aren’t my style and always seem to be very narrow and low-arched, never fitting my feet.

When I go to “slip on” a shoe, it’s often something from Camper, like a low-heeled slip-on mule or an elastic-topped flat.

I think I can safely – on the road and off – leave driving shoes out of my One Hundred.